By INDIA KRUG –

Mr. Noah,

In your book, Born A Crime: Stories From a South African Childhood, you write about a tragic Valentine’s Day experience as a young man.  A classmate promised to be your valentine, only to dump you on the holiday. But, being the incredibly generous person that I am, I’m not only going to write you a valentine, but an entire article in my school newspaper. (A.k.a. free press– I will be contacting your manager to discuss compensation.)

I’m not very good at writing limericks and I don’t live near a CVS to buy you some $3 chocolate, so this will have to suffice.  First off, I would like to congratulate you on becoming one with Generation Z!  I live in a pretty rural town and I watch the same political commentary shows as my parents, so usually the only people I can discuss them with are my teachers.

However, your satire has somehow managed to branch out to Western Pennsylvania.  You have a pretty impressive following for a school that elected Trump in its mock election. (Although the outcome may have been swayed by the amount of write-ins for our band teacher, he is an American hero, after all.)

Senior Nabeeha Affan says, “I like you because you’re funny and have relevant political commentary. You’re also good at telling stories and are usually pretty relatable.”

Please understand the enormity of this accomplishment, only a little over half of my school knows who your predecessor, Jon Stewart, is.  Everyone else thinks he is either one of our state representatives or my uncle.  

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So obviously you host the Daily Show at 11 p.m. weeknights on Comedy Central (*motions to friend to turn off teleprompter*), a show that discusses current events through monologues and correspondents, each with a different schtick, such as Hasan Minhaj’s “Brown in Town” segment.

Junior Frankie Baumer says, “You turn the depressing news into a joke– things are so bad right now and you make it a little more light-hearted.”

Considering the lack of similarities between you and the president, you can do a  solid Trump impression.  It makes regular appearances on your show, along with a “Moment of Zen” that wraps up the episode by poking fun at events such as Trump’s “covfefe” incident.

Sophomore Maggie Conjelko states, “You are my favorite talk show host- you’re not only hilarious, you’re down-to-earth.  Your personality is reflected well in your book.”

Last year you aired a stand-up special on Netflix called “Afraid of the Dark” where you examined cultural divides in America. Through your theatrical skills, Nelson Mandela taught Obama how to speak eloquently, a black James Bond ran around England, and a British colonist attempted to explain God to a Hindu– all on a New York stage.

Since I have you here, I have to ask, how did you learn backwards Russian for that special?  I actually taught myself how to speak it by accident, it just sort of came out every time I was forced to give a class presentation.

Growing up under Apartheid in South Africa with a childhood full of confusion and hurdles, you have become someone who is a voice for the people. Happy Valentine’s Day, Mr. Noah, you deserve the most “bigly” one yet.

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[Photo by Jorie Meil]

Photo Caption: “Sophomore India Krug shows off her copy of  Trevor Noah’s ‘Born A Crime: Stories From a South African Childhood’”

 

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